7 Myths About Elopements & Small Weddings
Elopements come in all shapes and sizes and will mean something different to each couple. Despite the endless possibilities, many elopements share a few commonalities. Firstly, every elopement is customized around the couple - ideally without compromise on important and personal elements. In addition, elopement style celebrations allow the bride and groom to remove any pressure to be on display, and denies any tradition that doesn’t align with their relationship. At the end of the day it’s a brave decision to make, but one that will open the door to a personalized and unique celebration.
When considering eloping, there’s lots of info and resources out there these days about eloping, how to plan it, where to go etc. Everyone in the industry is trying to be as helpful as possible and make sure that couples are making the best decisions that they can. Along the way, there’s a few bits and pieces that are often misunderstood or put out there in a way that can be misleading. This can raise some questions and concerns along with doubt surrounding your decisions.
Having eloped ourselves, we want to shine a light on 7 myths about elopements and small weddings to set them straight.
Myth 1: Elopements aren’t as important or special as “real weddings”.
That’s like saying that one couple's relationship isn’t as important as another couple’s. We know first hand that this couldn’t be further from the truth. We chose not to have a “real wedding” and by that, let’s label it as a more traditional wedding. We eloped, just the two of us and it was every bit as special to us as a traditional wedding would have been. We built our own day, wrote our own vows and booked everything ourselves to make sure it was going to meet our expectations.
You have to remember that the celebration is about you and your relationship as a couple. If anything, we feel that by personalizing your day it simply makes it a little more extra special than it otherwise could have been.
Myth 2: Elopements are just ceremonies followed by a photoshoot and need less time for coverage.
This is all about your perceived value in what is offered by your photographers. Many couples simply find inspiring shots on instagram and pinterest of an incredible “one shot wonder” of a beautiful couple, side lit by a glowing sunrise in an epic landscape and think that’s all they want. It pains us to say it, but this is simply a glorified glamour shoot. Where’s the build up and the story behind your special day?
Given that we feel elopements are as special, if not more special than traditional ceremonies, you deserve to have your story told in full. Your elopement is a reflection of your relationship and so it’s the details along the way that all add up.
The reason couples hire photographers for their wedding is so they can reflect on their day, preserve those moments and share them with family and friends. Consider then, that during elopements it’s common to only have a few witnesses and usually one of those is the photographer. It’s probable that your photographers will be two of, if not the only people to witness your day as it unfolds.
When you imagine showing your family and friends your photos from your intimate elopement, how would you like your day to be represented? What kind of pictures do you want to show them? Surely not just the “one shot wonder”? What about the details of how you traveled to your ceremony location? Those raw moments from the first look? Where did you go and what did you do after your ceremony? You get the idea, but it’s important in smaller ceremonies to be able to tell your story in a way that words can’t. For this reason alone we feel that asking for “only a couple of hours” would be something you’ll regret when you want to relive your day and share it with loved ones.
Myth 3: Elopements are always a last minute thing.
This one gets a little twisted. Planning ahead is always required for any sized celebration, what changes is simply the timeline. Given the rise in popularity of smaller, more intimate weddings, vendors are still being booked well ahead of time to make sure that specific dates can be secured. Don’t be caught out thinking that just because you want an outdoor wedding in a more remote area that those spaces aren’t being eyed up by other couples too.
We like to encourage couples to look ahead and be proactive with their planning stages regardless of their vision. This also allows for breathing space with regard to planning the final details. For example, if you know for certain that you want to get married in winter then settle on a date and lock it in. For us, this is where we’d love to join in, talk with you to find out more about you and what’s important to include.
The more we know and the earlier we know it, the better guidance we can offer with regard to locations, other vendors and complementary services for your day.
Myth 4: Elopements only involve the bride and the groom.
It’s often thought that for an elopement, you only need the bride and groom. This is something that may have been true once-upon-a-time but the modern take on eloping has evolved into a slightly different picture. These days, eloping has more to do with the design of the day and the reflection of the couple than anything else. For us, what classifies an elopement is when the couple decide to celebrate with intention, in a way that aligns with their values and relationship. They forego irrelevant traditions and details that do not add to their day.
This may mean that they choose to only include themselves, but equally, some can’t imagine their day without their closest friend or a particular family member. To us, this is still an elopement provided that the day is centered around the couple, without compromise.
As you begin to introduce other elements that cater more towards the desires and comforts of your guests, we start to move towards a more traditional wedding style celebration.
Myth 5: Eloping is selfish.
Do we really need to entertain the idea that getting married in a way that pleases others more than it pleases you is a good thing? This isn’t about being selfish or ignoring the input of those you care about. It’s simply about celebrating your relationship in a way that resonates with you both as a couple.
If you’re having an internal battle with what is “right”, we’d be happy to chat with you about how we dealt with our own decision to elope and help you find a healthy mindset so you can enjoy your elopement, guilt free.
Myth 6: To have an adventure elopement, you need to be able to hike 20kms with a 20kg pack.
By now, you know that elopements come in all shapes and sizes and it’s all tailored to you. Usually couples have a rough idea of the types of activities they want to do or things they want to see which is a great starting point.
The adventure part of the elopement is entirely subjective and relative to your interests. If the best way for you to celebrate is to gear up for an adventurous multi-day trek that’s awesome. If that sounds like your worst nightmare then focus more on what’s true to you and go from there. It’s all too easy to find your favorite snaps online and think that the pristine slice of paradise in the frame is tucked away miles in the backcountry. It’s simply not the case, whilst there are some epic treks out there, many of the popular locations in the mountains are accessible by road without more than a 5 minute walk.
There’s not much you can’t do with a little imagination. Remember, the key is that an elopement can look like anything you want it to.
If you’re stuck, or need a sounding board for your ideas why not jump on a call with us and we’ll gladly listen and offer our expertise to help shape your day.
Myth 7: Elopements aren’t legally binding.
Elopements are as legally binding as you plan to make them. By that we simply mean that as long as you have done your homework (and hopefully had some help from your local vendors) you can make sure that you’re good to go.
Usually you’ll need a marriage license, a venue or location that can allow a legal ceremony, a commissioner and a couple of witnesses. There may be some variance between different municipalities, National Parks or countries so make sure that you are confident you have the necessary information.
One of the most reliable ways to ensure things are legal is to hire a commissioner local to the area as they will have lots of experience dealing with paperwork and regulations specific to the areas they service.
Another popular way to handle things is to have already taken care of the legalities before having a more symbolic ceremony in a location of your choosing. This way you can be as creative as you like and pick anywhere you want to exchange vows.
Hopefully this has put some fires out, given you a sense of certainty and allowed you the confidence to elope. There’s lots of push and pull factors when deciding to elope and we wanted to do our part to support couples making the decision to elope. From our own elopement, we know it’s tough but when we look back on our day we know we made the right choice for us, in spite of those pesky myths.
Kahli & Leo
Wild Alpine Image Co.