How to Elope - 7 Steps for Planning Your Elopement
Every great ceremony starts with a daydream, a wish, or a small idea. From inception, it’s an incredibly exciting process which can often be overwhelming to begin with. With lots of information available these days the best place to start is with the first and most obvious step in front of you. From there, the rest will follow.
If you’re still not sure where to start, from reflecting on our own journey we’ve highlighted some commonalities that will exist for most, if not all couples and created this short and sweet checklist with 7 steps to planning your elopement.
Create a desires list
This is where you open the door to possibility. If you’ve already got a pretty clear idea of what you want to include for your day you can be very intentional locking in those final details. If you really aren’t sure, start with one simple thing that you both enjoy and research from there. You’ll likely be surprised by what’s out there for inspiration and from what we’ve seen, you probably won’t be the first to try your crazy ideas. As you become more familiar with identifying these wishes, start trying to link them together - this will help add more clarity to how you want things to look.
For example, if you both love cycling, enjoy fine dining and lakeside sunsets then to link them together you would look for locations that can be connected by bike, serve great food and drink that have lake shore access or views. This might sound like a tall order but there’s plenty out there that you likely haven’t heard of.
It should go without saying, but really focus in on things that are meaningful to you both, without worrying what others will think as it really will bring your day together in a way that’s unique and suited perfectly for you. Add these elements to your “desires” list.
2. Decide on a budget.
This is one of those topics that a lot of couples-to-be tend to be afraid of. From experience, we can honestly say that you don’t need to be. Spend some time getting some ballpark prices for vendors and understand more about the costs involved; you will find there’s a huge range out there. Once you’ve spent some time compiling some pricing ideas we’ll encourage you to actually write a value on paper. When you see it written down it’ll start to feel real.
Are you in danger of skimping on cost so much that you are going to sacrifice some very important elements of your day?
Are you being realistic of what will suit your budget and making decisions about your day that will match it?
Move yourselves up and down the scale and let those numbers sink in before underlining it three times and drawing a box around it to lock it in as final. Of course you can still move this figure around but we recommend setting a ceiling limit that keeps you in check.
As a quick start list, here’s some ideas that you might want to factor in for your elopement budget:
Marriage license ($40 fee in Alberta, current as of 2020)
Officiant
Rings
Hair & make-up
Photographer (you can find our pricing here)
Bouquet and other florals
Food & drink
Travel and accommodation
Event Planner
As a final thought, remember that there’s no shame in doing what you can to reduce costs on some things to either splurge on others, or to keep in the bank for a rainy day.
3. Desires vs Budget
Once you have your budget in place, we suggest that your next step is to re-visit your list from step 1. Now is the time to start shuffling things around into some form of priority or ranking. The basic idea here is to lock in the essentials (such as an officiant) and then understand the things you are willing to fight for and potentially spend a little more money on to keep involved in your day. The less important things will fall lower on the list. Don’t worry here if there’s a few items sharing 1st place, final decisions aren’t made yet but as a couple it’s very important to get on the same page at this point, before you spend any money. Don’t forget that your preliminary homework into ballpark costs can be useful as it might be that you can move a few things around based on expected costs.
4. Choose your Vendors
With steps 1-3 out the way, you’re now in a position to be able to firm up some ideas. With your rankings list, the next step is to highlight which items you can essentially do yourself vs items that you absolutely need to outsource help for. For example, it might be that you feel comfortable doing your own hair and make-up or already have a suit that you like and in your eyes is perfect for your ceremony. On the other hand, your baking skills might not be what you wished they were and you both love cake (who doesn’t). This process will help you systematically work through budget allocation for each of your prospective vendors. Now, you can confidently start sourcing exact pricing for each vendor and put the pieces of the puzzle together.
You may have to allow for some wiggle room and revisit your priorities, or things may well work out perfectly. Remember though, when you meet tough decisions, fall back on your original priorities list as usually this will show you what was important to you both before the money factor was added. Use your priorities to drive decision making together and ensure that your “top-of-the-list” are taken care of in some way or another.
The best way to figure things out is to look at reviews, testimonials, portfolios, use word of mouth recommendations and better yet, pick up the phone and give them a call. More often than not, your gut instinct can quickly help you make decisions as to whether or not you want to trust a vendor with your business - don’t be afraid to walk away if things “feel off.”
If you work well through this process you’ll have a preferred list of vendors mapped out with date ranges and upcoming availability so you can see how they all cross over with each other and what combinations are possible.
5. Location
As if steps 1-4 weren’t exciting enough, this is where we think the real fun starts. This is our comfort zone and area of expertise. When considering your location of choice you can take the pinterest, instagram and google approach to start the party and look for views, landscapes and venues that resonate with you. Grab a screenshot of the image so you can refer to them again - don’t forget this step. Trust us, there’s so many wonderful locations out there that you’ll be spoilt for choice. If you’ve decided to use vendors local to the area then your best move is to utilise their experience to help you. For example, send your examples and saved shots that you like through to your photographer so they can start to visualize your day with you. There’s always going to be a fine line between expectations vs reality so it’s important to know what can be done.
Ensure you look into your travel and accommodation options as you consider your location to make sure that there’s something that suits you. It could be anything from a popular hotel in town to a backcountry campsite. This is a great topic to bring up with your vendors to get some local insight and inspiration.
Our top tip to consider with locations you choose based on photos you’ve seen is the available photo options at that location and what “plan b” and “plan c” might look like if the weather gets in the way. For the locations you like, are there multiple views and photo possibilities as opposed to only one perch, platform or viewpoint? If not then what happens if conditions don’t suit the one banger photo of your location you saw online? If you don’t do your homework, make sure your photographer has done theirs. Always have options so you get the most out of your day. The only time to go against this is if you absolutely have to be in “the” place that is so meaningful to you both that come rain or shine you’ll be happy to be there.
Don’t forget, whilst the outdoors is an amazing place to celebrate your love for each other, don’t be afraid to ask about the physical input required to get there. If hiking isn’t your thing, you’d be surprised how many incredible locations are easily road accessed by car and you’d never know from the pictures. If you don’t even know where to start, get in touch with us so we can help spark your imagination.
6. Set the date
You have two ways to view this choice. Firstly, you can choose a date that is a compromise that captures most, if not all of your preferred vendors. Secondly, you can decide upon a preferred time of year that suits you both and then start combining vendors that are able to work with those dates. The second option is most common as couples need to consider their work schedules and available time. Unless you are completely set on either the time of year you get married, or you must have a particular vendor then you should go with what feels best. As you might expect, vendor availability may clash so refer to your priorities to help decide which one(s) to sacrifice for a replacement, if you need to.
If you’re a little unsure about what to expect with each season then why not check out our blog posts showcasing the highlights of each season in their prime. We’ll get you started with winter. With all factors considered, decide on a date and confirm with your vendors as soon as you can so you can secure without disappointment.
7. Paperwork
This is more of a formality and not necessarily something everyone chooses to do. On the one hand, some couples choose to keep things a little simpler and less complicated by simply arranging a photographer to capture their journey and celebration together. This removes the need for an officiant and for many travelling overseas is a straightforward way to have a discrete and secluded celebration of their love. In the background, they may have already legally married before the elopement, or plan to do so later that day or a day or so after. This way they can ensure that the photos taken can represent the actual timing of the legal side of things too.
In contrast, for many couples eloping within their home country or somewhere they have legal residency, they may choose to make sure the entire elopement is legal from a standpoint that they will complete paperwork and have an officiant arranged ahead of time. Find more information on obtaining a marriage license in Alberta and British Columbia.
You can ask questions and for recommendations from your vendors to see what information they can pass on to you. Some vendors have paired their services and are able to assist you with paperwork advice and processing too. Either route you choose to take, the best thing to do is conduct your own research into what you will need to legally marry in your desired location. This is what we did for our own elopement just to make sure that we knew for ourselves what was required - that way if a vendor dropped the ball on something it wouldn’t mean that things were any less official.
There you have it, our 7 steps for planning your elopement that we think most, if not all couples will be able to use. This should help with getting you started with the major components so that the finer details can fall into place. Feel free to get in touch if you need a sounding board for your ideas as we love planning and are happy to help where we can.
Kahli & Leo
Wild Alpine Image Co.